Family: Your heaven in a heartless world.

I sat back and watched, but only for a brief second. I looked around and saw my family joined together, singing happy birthday to my little brother. Soaking in the moment and studying the smaller of details, I noticed something captivating.

Looking at my younger brother’s face, lit by the glowing candles, I noticed that something else made his face look a little bit brighter today. His face was not only lit by the radiant candles reading 18, but was also lit in a metaphorical kind of way, with emotion.

The emotion on his face appeared different than it did on any of his other 17 birthdays. This time his face was lit with a sincere happiness, a kind of happiness one could call, joy.

As I watched my little brother, studying his every expression, I noticed his eyes appeared seemingly mesmerized by the glowing number on the cake.

I chimed back in, singing happy birthday with the family, appearing to have not missed a beat. My mind began to stir, still singing, but subconsciously drifting off into another place. I thought, “18…there’s no way my little brother is turning 18! Already? Not possible.”

After I got over this realization, I began reflecting back to my adolescent years. 18 was such a significant age for me. In fact, this truly, is a significant age in every individual’s life. It is when you are technically an adult, whether or not you feel like one.

This made me think back, and I began trying to pinpoint the exact time or event that shifted my perception of family. I wondered, “At what age did I become more appreciative of my time shared with family?”

More importantly, “When does one begin to realize the true value of family?”

Thinking over every little episode that could have swayed my mindset, I came to a realization. It really just depends on how fast we grow up.

According to Developmental Psychologist Jeffery Arnett, "Emerging Adulthood is a time when an individual is exploring a variety of possible life directions in love, work, family, relationships or worldviews."

Age 18 is unarguably the age of Emerging Adulthood. I remember when I was this age, the amount of changes I was making in my life, were definitely drastic and certainly plentiful. It took going off to college and living on my own, to realize what family meant to me.

It seems when we enter into our 20s; we start to look at our family in a different kind of light. We begin to see family playing a different kind of role in our lives.

Mom suddenly becomes "okay" to talk to about relationship problems, your brother or sister’s advice seems to make a little bit more sense and you even begin to understand why your parents got so mad at you over certain things growing up.

This is the time where we start to see parents, siblings, grandparents, aunts, and uncles as an equal. We begin to see family members as something different, actual people.

Once you can bring yourself to the same level as another person, you begin to develop a greater value for that person. This happens with all kids during their growing years, and on his 18^th birthday, I saw this in my baby brother.

I had to realize he wasn’t a kid anymore; and was becoming one of the most important men in my life. It was now my time to help him develop and grow to the best of his ability.

I now needed to be more than just a sister; I needed to be a friend.

Although he still has much more growing to do, he was now entering adulthood and becoming a handsome man.

He took a deep breath, closed his eyes and appeared to be making the most imperative wish of his life. In a split second the candles were out and everyone was applauding in his honor. He smiled ear to ear, his face a little bit more red than before and responded with a genuine, “Thank you.”

We learn so many lessons as we grow older. One being- when looking back on your life, you will realize some of your greatest happiness, will be family happiness. Your family will always be the ones giving you their world when everyone else in your life has walked out.

We must cherish our family and grow to learn the value of each and every family member. This is one of the most important parts of growing up, contrary, to our teenage mentality.

Why?

Because, in the end when everyone has come and gone and you are in need of a true friend, family will be your heaven in a heartless world.

-C. Ann-